Saturday rolled around and I had a little text exchange with my mom... Mostly it was me saying "I'm alone and scared.. I need my mommy" (in just about as many words) and she replied with "I've been there for you, I'll be there for you. But I won't let it run my life"
I was stunned.... I wasn't asking her to give up her life (like I did when she was in and out of the hospital and bed-ridden for months) I was just saying that I would have liked her to be home with me that weekend.
My BF was not expected back until the following weekend and I was just completely alone. I felt like a 6 year old in the twilight after bedtime but before you actually fall asleep. I just wanted my mommy.
I called my BF to vent a little and as the phone rang I could feel the tears starting to well up... by the time he picked up and said hello I was sobbing... not like "boo hoo hoo I'm crying and my nose is stuffy" but like "baaaaahhh *hic* waaaaahhhhhh" (think wounded donkey with a speech impediment).
In my head I was saying things like "I can't believe she would say that to me." and "I really need you right now" and "Fuck My Life!" but all it sounded like was the hysterical sobbing of a 30 something woman....
My Boyfriend sat through a few minutes of it and when I paused for a breath he says "Baby, I know you must be really upset right now. But honey I need you to take a moment and calm down. I honestly can't understand a word your saying"
He talked to me for an hour. at the end of the conversation I asked him if it would be at all possible to come back sooner.. maybe before Tuesday.
"Honey, I'm already packing my car. I'll be there tomorrow"
I honestly have the best life partner a girl could ever want, EVER. He kept his word. He was there the next day, and he held me while I sobbed. He didn't try to give me silly platitudes. He just held me and told me over and over that no matter what, he was there for me. That was all I needed.