HAPPY HALOWEEN!!!

Today is Halloween! YAY! Enjoy the day and for all of my gallbladder disease sufferers please eat all the candy corn you want... IT"S FAT FREE!!! so are Red Vines and Nerds so have a ball and enjoy the candy!

From ghoulies and ghosties
And long-leggedy beasties
And things that go bump in the night,
Good Lord, deliver us!

My EYE!!!!!!

So.... I spent the evening vomiting and moaning and begging for relief. My boy friend had noted in the middle of this ordeal that I seemed to have broken a few blood vessels in my eyes during the whole ordeal...

After I got home and slept for a few hours I got up and sent my mom to the store to get my Percocets. I went to the bath room and nearly fainted when I saw my face...

I was puffy and slightly yellow (due to the bile back up) and my eye... MY EYE!!!!!

EGAD!

It was awful! Horrible! I was totally freaked out by it! When my son got home later in the after noon he took one look and said "Mommy... your eye is gross" Gee thanks kid... it took almost twoo weeks for it to completely clear up. and during that whole time it turned many alarming shades of yellow and orange... I do work in radio but I am mostly the Executive assistant... so I have to talk to clients and personalities and I act as a receptionist and greet people at the front door.... Lucky for me My boss forbid me from coming in on Friday so I had a whole weekend to go from a solid red eyeball to a fall colored eyeball... Reds, Yellows, Oranges... it was very festive.

Most of my personal clients did not mention anything but our production director said... "you know at first I thought I was seeing things... but when I looked a second time I was like.. yuck"

>.<

seriously guys I know its awful....

here is what it looked like 8 days later:

Pretty colors

Mostly cleared up... like I said it was almost a week after this shot before there was no more noticeably red, yellow or orange streaks in my eye. I am glad to say that as of about five minutes ago my eyes look like this:

Crazy eyes!!!

 I did the crazy eye thing so you can really see my eyes.... ahhhh and its super funny and I am sooooo changing my facebook page header to this!! LMAO

GB-Day

The day is Wednesday October 3rd, 2012 its about 8:00pm. I have just finished a big ass salad that had three cheese ranch dressing and a sprinkle of Italian dressing. There were glorious Texas toast croutons and lots and lots of yummly veggies. I am now settling down to an evening whiskey. I don't do it often but occasionally I feel like some Tennessee honey on the rocks. That all too familiar pain begins to creep across the upper right of my back. It's insinuating itself around to my front. oooo I know what this means.

Immediately I am up and taking some Motrin. Out comes the heating pad. I call my BF to tell him that my gallbladder is beginning to act up again. He's very supportive and begins talking me through it. Eventually we both remember that we have a friend who recently went through GB problems. Maybe she has some tips to calming an angry Gallbladder.

I hang up with him and begin texting her. Her answer: "Have it taken out!!!" that is a direct quote.

We chat some more and come about 9:30 we say our good nights. The pain is seriously intensifying. its getting pretty bad. but so far nothing I can't handle with some lamaze breathing.

10:00: it was like a grandfather clock began chiming the hour... except instead of chimes it was vomit. My mom gets up at 10 every night to go to work. Just as she was coming out of her room I was pacing the hallway... but as soon as I said "good morning" I excused myself and began the hurried rush to the altar of barf.

By 11:00 I had called my boyfriend and begged him to come over and take care of me. If I was up barfing anymore I would need someone to drive my son to school in the morning. And I needed him to call my co-workers and find someone to cover my shift on the sound board at work in the morning.

12:00am I have thrown up again and thrown in the towel. The pain is now worse than when I was in labor and I have a constant stream of tears running down my face. I made the decision to go to the ER. The Most Amazeballs Boyfriend in The World got my son up and dressed and helped me down the stairs and into the car, he drove me to the ER.

When we arrived they got me a wheel chair and wheeled me right in. Lucky for me there was not a big crowd... it was Wednesday after all.  (or technically Thursday since it was after midnight). Immediately after I sign all the paperwork that says "sorry I'm poor and only work part time and don't have insurance but I absolutely promise to pay my bill" I ask for a barf bucket and begin throwing up again...

The trick to being seen immediately as a walk-in at the ER: begin throwing up in the middle of the waiting area.

They got me an anti-nausea pill. They offered a suppository if I thought the pill wouldn't stay down but I declined. It worked! I didn't throw up again until almost 5 am and that was because of my own stubbornness.

Most of the rest of the evening passed in flashes of bright pain followed by brief snatches of complete detachment.

*I have spent the last twenty years of my life studiously avoiding narcotics and opiates because of a series of bad reactions as a teen. I haven't taken anything stronger than a Motrin800 in those years. Not even cough syrup with codeine!*

I was given a shot of morphine and that helped about as much as throwing a baby aspirin down the gullet of an elephant with a headache, that is to say not much at all. It was followed by a shot of dilaudid. This helped a bit more...

I was experiencing my pain in waves. Apparently this is common. Your gallbladder is trying to evacuate and is contracting. If your bile is exceptionally sludgy or the bile duct is being partially or fully blocked by a gall stone then you will experience waves of extremely intense pain followed by brief periods of lesser but still intense pain. From experience I can tell you that it is like going through labor except the pain meter has been dialed up to 11! The combination of Dilaudid and Morphine where helping during the "down-time" I was able to breathe through that pain, but during the contractions I was a thrashing foul mouthed pain filled puppet.

During all of this my seriously fantastic BF called my sister and had her come get my son from the ER waiting room. He figured that the boy was going to need to sleep at some point and there wasn't much point in sending him to school after only a few hours of sleep. BF kept my mom, my sister and my co-workers updated and once my son was off with my sister he was by my side the rest of the night.

At some point I had blood drawn and an ultrasound of my GB. A nurse came in and gave me another pain shot in my ass. That one was completely useless since it did nothing for the pain and as a matter of fact it caused way more pain in my left butt-cheek than any pain killer has a right to cause! I don't know what time it was. No clue.

My sense of time left somewhere after the morphine shot and did not return until my alarm went off at 5:30am (when I usually get up for work).

I do know that at some point a doctor came in and told me that I had gall-stones but they were not causing a complete blockage so emergency surgery was not needed. I was in a ton of pain still so he ordered up another shot of dilaudid. By that time I had not had anything to drink since my whiskey and I was thoroughly parched. I was begging for water. they told me that water would only make me vomit again.. I told them I didn't care. so they gave me ice chips... I was sucking on these when they came in with the next shot of dilaudid.

They put that needle into my IV (they gave me an IV but no fluids.. I'm still confused on that one) and pushed the plunger down. The now familiar cold burn of the drugs entering my bloodstream spread through my arm. In a matter of moments I was pain free for the first time since 8:00 the previous evening. It was sometime near 4:00am. 8 hours of pain. 8 hours of misery. 8 hours of knowing I was going to die. I sat up and cried.

BF said he could see the relief wash over my face.

I was finally released with a prescription for percocet and a referral to the surgery center to have my gallbladder removed. The drive home was harrowing but I made it all the way back to my front porch before I threw up again. This time it was the dilaudid and the ice chips. My boyfriend was amazed that I even had anything left in me. I was too frankly. I don't think I ever digested even a bit of that damn salad...

Ouch... that hurts!

Two weeks go by and everything is going along swimmingly!

I have stopped bleeding and resumed my normal life. No more worrying about carrying and entire box of tampons with me everywhere I went. I was experiencing some serious hot flashes and fatigue but who the hell cares! I wasn't bleeding anymore!

Wednesday September 26th, 2012
approx. 9pm: The upper right side of my back started to hurt.
9:30pm: the pain is beginning to get worse and starting to wrap around to my front....
10:00pm: My mom is up and I am in some serious pain. I thought maybe if I had her pop my back it would be some relief. I couldn't even lay down on on my front so she could try
10:30pm: I call my BF and tell him what's going on. He's the smartest person I know so he should have an answer...
11:00pm: I have taken 4 motrin and am leaning on my heating pad. BF thinks it might be that I have pulled a muscle or strained it some how.
12:00am: the pain starts to subside and I finally get to sleep

Whew.... that was intense but nothing I couldn't handle with some motrin and a heating pad

Sunday September 30th, 2012
6:00pm: I am working on pre-show prep for my radio show. I start to notice that my upper right back is getting a little twingey (that's a technical term)
7:00pm: we go live and immediately my entire upper right side spreading down to just under my rib cage is on fire!
8:00pm: still on air and making it through our interviews... still in pain but it's intensity is rolling up and down (a lot like contractions do)
9:00pm: still on air and now I am clock watching... I never clock watch when I am on air. My co-hosts all think I might be having a gall bladder attack... or gas
10:00pm: Show is finally over... I zip home all the while trying to rip a nice big fart because if it is just gas I can hopefully relieve it that way. (also I am praying that I don't shit my pants on my way home but if I do its ok since I am the only one in the car)
11:00pm: after some more motrin and heating pad therapy pain is finally subsiding
12:00am: once again I am finally relieved enough to sleep

Again... intense but nothing I couldn't handle. I'm a tough broad. I have a very high threshold for pain and can put up with a lot more than most people.

Monday October 1st, 2012
I had my follow up with Dr. GreyGyno. I explained to him everything I was going through after having been on the hormones. I was constipated. I had a bad flare up of my eczema on my hands and feet. and then I described the odd pain that had happened twice...

He says "oh that's probably your gall bladder. Hormones will affect a gall bladder that is already having troubles and cause it to get sludgy. We're taking you down to half of the dose of hormones that you have been taking and that should help out quite a bit."

hmmm interesting. Being the research nut that I am I began researching a sludgy gall bladder... its an interesting read. But alas I felt like I was in the clear. It was just sludgy... dialing back my hormones would stop it. I would be just fine....

Ovaries are Under-rated

Quick Catch up....
Sunday - My Boyfriends back!! YAY
Monday - I am totally stressed about my visit to the Gyno
Tuesday Morning:
I rolled into the parking lot of the Doctor's office and parked. My Boyfriend was with me. I was ready... I was poorly under funded (I had my fingers crossed that magically the cost was going to go away) but I was ready for anything the Doctor could throw at me. 

I checked in and took a seat. I filled out the ream of medical history questions that goes with all first time visits to a doctor's office and turned it in. The girl behind the counter called my name and started asking all the standard redundant questions. She got to the one about insurance:

"Who is your insurance provider?"
"I don't have insurance"
"Oh well then your office visit fee is half off. Anyone who pays cash gets a 50% discount"
*cricket*

I paid my half-off fee and sat back down next to my boyfriend. It took me a moment to process that bit of info.

I turned to TMABFE (the most awesome boyfriend ever) and said "did you know that they charge insurance companies twice as much as they do cash paying clients?" I was shocked... he was not. Mostly he was not shocked because he is a complete skeptic and doesn't trust anyone any further than he can toss a Higgs Boson.

We bantered back and forth a bit and he handed me the magazine he had brought with him. (I can't remember which one but it was probably Guns and Ammo 'cause he's boss like that). And he says "Don't you hate it when you get a new magazine and all those silly cards fall out?"
"Yeah its totally a waste"
"Here check out this magazine"
"What.... is it full of them?..."

and from the middle of the magazine and into my lap falls a bright yellow envelope; inside is a get well soon card... *sniff* it still makes me tear up a bit when I think about it...

They call my name... I follow the nurse back and go through the SOP.. weight, blood pressure, temp...
then I am walked into a room and given one of those ass-less gowns and told to strip from the waste down. Finally in walks my Gyno... he's the most adorable little white haired dude....

Great... I'm going to get a full service exam from one of my grandfathers friends.. oh and he brought with him a student doc. "see how when I poke right here the muscle tightens up... don't poke there"

I'll spare you all the gory details and skip straight to the great reveal:

Based on my history, the ultra sound, my CBC levels (I had those done at Dr Thankyoucomeagain's) and the fact that my Uterus appears to be just fine; The fabulous Dr GreyGyno deduced that my ovaries have stopped working... not uncommon in a woman going through menopause. Very uncommon in a woman who is 32.

Basically rather than slowly going through the process leading up to menopause during my 40's or 50's I have slammed right through it in less than 6 months at 32... and because of that my uterus went on strike and refused to hold onto any of the endometrium lining it was producing it.

Normally he would just go in and take out everything and then put me on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) but since I am hindered by not having insurance the next best option is to trick my body into thinking that everything is still hunky dory through pills.

First a round of pure estrogen to get me to stop bleeding and then birth control pills to force my body back into a regular hormone cycle. For the first part of that cycle I was going on Commando Dose. Double the normal amount... so rather than taking a single tiny pill in the morning I was taking one in the morning and one at night.

Guess what.... I stopped bleeding and everything was AWESOME! 

Also it turned out I wasn't going to need that biopsy after all.  But it was still a good thing that Mom gave me that money... turned out my medications where not cheap.... over $100.00! Thankfully though I had enough money to fill the gas tank and put food back in the pantry.