Surviving the Holidays

The company buy out happened and we are now all officially employees of the new company.  It is a WAAAAAY better company to be working for... the shitty part is going to be waiting 6 months (which is actually closer to 10 months after all the company policies are adhered to) for my insurance...

I did get approved for the county social services health program and I have my first appointment with my new doctor on the 11th of January... don't ask me who it is or how good this person may be because I have no idea.... and I won't know until I get there...

I went to the new company's Christmas party.... I was not surprised at all there was nothing I could eat on the dinner buffet... except for some scrumptious strawberries, which The Best Boy Friend in the World!! kept me well stocked with. My boss kept asking if there was anything like maybe a vegetarian dish. The previously mentioned awesome Boyfriend was a real prince. He took it upon himself to answer all the questions. He knows how hard it is getting for me and he does an amazing job of taking the heat off when he can.

At least it was an open bar... unfortunately I think the bartenders were watering down the drinks.... I was shooting for at least happily drunk and didn't even get annoying buzzed. Bah Hum Bug....

We had another pot luck for our clients and I made a dish that I could eat... but it was untested and wasn't as flavorful as I would have liked.... Of course my friend made her damn near sinful thai curry... and with the coconut milk it I couldn't have any... *sigh* I got to watch everyone else gorge on pizza, and crab dip and curry... I had three rather bland chicken sandwiches...I did splurge a bit at the end of the evening.... I had 2 cherry cordials... only 3.5 grams of fat... almost a whole meals worth... LOL

Of course everyone kept asking me if I had tried this or that... or was I going to have any cake.. or had I eaten any of those divine chocolate covered cookies.  Would I like one of these sandwiches.. they're very good. I should try this dip its amazing. I just retreated from the food area and concentrated on making sure there was enough coffee. I began to avoid the room full of food like it was full of angry, hungry zombies. I could feel the vacant smile on my face when everyone started talking about how full they were and what a wonderful spread there was. I'm finding it very hard not to yell at people... "SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! EVERYONE PLEASE JUST EAT THE GODDAMNED FOOD AND STOP TALKING ABOUT IT LIKE IT WAS SENT DOWN FROM MOUNT MOTHER-FUCKING OLYMPUS!!!!"

ahem

I look like this every day

I lead a very sad culinary life these days... its no wonder I'm depressed half the time.

I am surrounded by Christmas cheer and half the time I just can't muster up the holiday joy to smile. I've been trying my best at the holiday parties but honestly its no fun to sit around nibbling on a fucking carrot stick when everyone else is enjoying red velvet cake.

On the up side however I discovered that my local grocery store carries a fat free imitation crab... I've been gorging on it. I'm ridiculously emotionally attached to it... if I don't have at least a little every day I get sad. I seriously need to get this damn surgery done.